Self indulgence is an artist's worst enemy. Laziness is another one. I could keep on calling it "lack of inspiration", but if I would I'd be able to find it. I'm just too lazy to sit down and concentrate on the lines. I let myself getting frustrated too fast, my power of will is weak as a dead hamster.
I really need to learn again how to hold a pencil and draw, how to mess around with watercolours.
Why did I stop drawing comics, back in 2001 (or whatever year it was)? The idea that I needed to go "professional" sticked in my mind and never left. I begun to care way too much about the technical side of comics, I listened too much to those voices who were telling me that "in Italy there is no way one can became a comic writer, just forget about it, it's a pipe dream". And I was shocked! I was like "wait...what? Why am I doing this stuff if I can't live on it? They're my life and you're telling me I can't live off of them?". And this thing got me really depressed, I couldn't accept the fact that nobody would've read my stories. I forgot that is was FUN to
draw comics, I was really living in that world, I loved my characters...but I did something wrong at a certain point, I though my comics HAD to be inked to be considered comics and not amateurish shit. Then I realized I hate inking, my drawings look bad after they're inked. This got me depressed even more, and in the meanwhile I tried to get rid of the "manga" look, trying to add details and stuff. This bored me. I don't know why I couldn't just go along with my simple, cartoonish style. Now I'm so frustrated that I'm not able to draw 'consequential' illustrations anymore. Just, I can't draw the same face twice, side by side. I'm out of training.
I'm still trying to force myself to bring back my skill, so that I can draw shitty, funny comics again.
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