lil' biatch

Rebekah

Gospel, page 4

Drama!

Nightwish has been a constant source of drama singe good ol' 2005, when they fired their former singer Tarja Turunen. They fired her with an open letter, so she didn't take it very well.
A few weeks ago, the very same group parted ways with their now second ex-singer Anette Olzon. They said is was mutual and it was all ok, Anette wanted to leave and they were like ok byez.
Funny thing is, it is blatant that the group has learned how to manage this kind of situation, after the infamous 2005 drama show. This time they just released a 5-lines press statement, hired another singer (Floor Jansen, ex After Forever, already beloved by most of NW fans, since she was part of the "female symphonic metal singers" pantheon: Tarja Turunen, Sharon den Adel, Floor Jansen, Simone Simons) and shut the fuck up.
Anette said she would've done the same, but instead she keeps on writing on her blog and keeps on adding fuel to the drama fire, because - as she proved many times during her years in NW - she know a huge nothing about public relationships.

So this is for Anette, because she's unique and special and the world can't understand her, because she's too special.






Custom Glitter Text



(I seriously loathe glitter graphics, I thought only 14 yo girls and 40-something american redneck houswives were still using them in 2012)

November

I love november, I love fog!

Gospel and Vocis Imago

The Gospel according to All

My boyfriend, Alessio Banini, is writing the storyboard, while I do the drawings. I'm mostly satisfied with the last one, page 5 is coming soon!

Vocis Imago

My book will take A LOT of time to be ready. But it's slowly taking form.

Salem!

Hi there, this is Salem (full name Salem Genfris Tegamino Triex Italo JESSE!! Capitani in Banini)! He was born July 13 this year :) I wanted to name him Nyanlatothep, but people thinks Salem is too strange already, they wouldn't be able to even remember Nyanlatothep. He's been called "Sale" (which in italian means SALT), "Lemme" "Salemme", because OMG! A name that doesn't end with a vowel, wtf!

Now he's almost 4 months old, and he's quite big for his age, so I hope he''l grow as big as a lion!

He eats a lot, always hungry! And he loves to walk on my face when I sleep, to chew my fingers and overall he's really loving, I hope he stays so friendly even when he'll be older! He's not afraid of people at all, and he sleeps a lot.

His mom had blue eyes (she's dead, poor thing :( She was just 1 year old), but he has brown eyes, so I assume his dad was grey with brown eyes, because there's no such cat in the family where he was born (and all of them are his uncles/cousins). I love his pink nose <3

Here he is, fixing my lamp.

He loves to peek out the windows, but he's afraid to stay outside alone.

Siren - sketch

La Peste

Monthly watercolor stains

Daily experiments!

Today I did a greeting card for a photographer's birthday on request, I wanted to make it with traditional medias but I had not enough time to experiment and to get the results I wanted, so I ended up making it digitally.

When I had done that, I took some brown rough paper and drew that girl with watercolor pencils, white acrilic and white chalk!

Green drapes is 50% ready!

I've decided I will let you go.

I don't like to live in bitterness, I think she would agree there's no reason to hang on eachother anymore, because we're on different paths now.

Owlets, they don't live in the green lodge

So yeah I've started this OWLET STUDIO thing. I'm doing what regular artists do, opening studios.

This is my logo! I have a FB page too, just check for Owlet Studio :)

Now I'm going to explain you why it's not the owlet that lives inside the green lodge, but it's the green lodge that lives inside the owlet.
As I've said many many times already, I'm making this comic which is called "Green Drapes" or "That shelter among green drapes", which is based on an odd dream I had in summer 2011. There isn't really a story, it's 16 pages of rooms and people and things and talking and stuff happening or not happening. It's mostly an experiment, an instinctive thing I wanted to do, to see if I'm still able to make comics. For sure I can make them weird...

^ this is a frame of Green Drapes. Ehe, monstahrs!

Last week I've been sick, like fever and weakness and boredom, now I'm feeling fine except that I'm always hungry and I keep eating whipped cream and pastries.
I'm behaving like a good *artsy* person and I'm dedicating my days to the noble art of arts: when I'm not playing at that horrible and unsatisfying game that's the Sims Social, I draw and I do my piano practice, I cook and I care about my lil' plants that are about to bloom.
I decided once again that cleaning the home depresses me a lot, because you work your ass off to clean it and all you did disappears within a day...you see your efforts slowly rot under your eyes. Depressing. I want a maid.

Music wise, I'm still waiting for news about the upcoming Tori Amos release, I'm listening to a lot of random stuff as usual, The Gathering, Shinedown, Poets of the Fall, classical stuff, some Samael back in the playlist, stuff stuff!

Teh song of the night is this one: to yew, BIATCHES.

Something's wrong.

Things are working now, they're moving on, something's happening. But. But but but. But some issues are standing still there where they appeared, no steps forward. I'm starting to think that I'm behaving like a perfect asshole. But then I think that, hey, I've hurted back who hurted me, did I have the right to do so? I think I did, but somethimes I think I'm dragging it way too far. Maybe I'm just a bitter bitch. It's weird to find yourself still angry about something after YEARS, especially when you were convinced you did forgive everyone. You feel so good, such a nice persone and then here it is, your anger is still there as fresh as before. Sometimes you just need to accept you're a vengeful and proud bitch, and that you'd rather never talk again to your friends than forgive them. My fear is to be hurted again by them, I gave them at least one chance, sometimes two, to forget what happened, but no, they can't live without giving me for granted, without thinking of me as some accessory that will always be there. I will not. When I think "I know that person comes to me only when that thing happens" and the day after that person comes to me telling me that thing happened, I think I'm entitled to believe I wasn't being overly cyinical. When somebody ignores me, mistreats me to look badass to someone else, they better remember that I'm nobody's sidekick, therefore they can go fuck themselves.

Oh, and work, I'm working on a few projects. Always the same, though :P Nothing's done yet.

Experiments

Today I spent my time assembling random stuff with Photoshop. These are the results: a book cover, a business card and a web template. I just made up all the text, random stocks.

For love shall still be lord of all

There are moments I'd love to be surrounded by those people I like, those people I don't know well or I don't know at all that I like. I'd love to sit and talk with them, drink something, hug and have fun together. It feels really good when you know that the ones you're with like you, but it doesn't happen too often. There's often this screen, this layer of "we're friends but I don't want to really know you because I don't care". I don't care to know many of the people I know, because I just don't go along well with them. Then there are those people I'd love to spend more time with, but I don't know how, I don't know if I can, I don't know if they would like it, because I don't know if they like me. Crazy question: "do you like me?" because I like myself a lot. I'd love me if I were in your shoes, I'm not boring, I'm not one of them and that should be enough.

There's one archetype I'd love to see become true, the friend. That friendship that's plain platonic love, intellectual idyll. Girl, boy, I don't care.

I once thought I had it, but it's gone. There's still something there (I still love her as much as before), something really sweet but so hard to keep alive, but it's not the archetype I long for.

We should never be satisfied with the amount of love we receive, because there are so many forms of love that we will never be able to experience, and it's crazy to deny ourself the pleasure to reach all we can. We have to keep on asking for love, giving love (though, I have to admit, I'm not really good at it) and support love, because love is the mainstay of our lives.

What scares me is misunderstanding.

Tell me, do you
know better ways?

Tell me, can you
see brighter days?

Tell me, can you
see me and my smile?

Tell me, dearest
Do I smile inside?

Are you the one?
Tell me are you for real?
And our love, can you wait?
And tell me who are you?

Tell me, are you
still a lonely child?

Tell me, is there
nothing left to hide?

Are you the one?
Tell me are you for real?
And our love, can you wait?
And tell me is this for real?

So tell me are you the one?
And tell me who are you?

Revelations

Sometimes I wake up and I feel like I'm the most horrid person in the world, because I can see how cynical my thoughts are. I'm often told I lack tact, but I have recurrent thoughts that are much worse than the things I say.
My only comfort comes from the firmness of my heart, that knows what it wants, knows who it loves, among the people I live with. My heart and my brain can recognize and manage different shades of love. What they can't handle is hate.
There are people that I don't know if I could love anymore, maybe I do, maybe I don't, and I can't make a move because I'm rambling in the dark, but somehow I really hope we can come to some kind of resolution.

L'uovo del cormorano

1 - L'Uovo Del Cormorano

Decadenza 1 (Prologo a Imago Vocis)

1_00 Decadenza 1

Mermaid

Girl at the piano

Just finished.

K I'm gonna write something under here.

I think that one day I'll buy an upright piano, and I want it to be white. I saw a really nice one when I was in Munchen (in the shop with the Bosendorfer sign, at Sendlinger Tor).

This work didn't took too much time, I wanted it to be done quickly. It took me like, two weeks or something.

Lately I'm loving this "sweet yet melancholic" atmosphere. The song I took as a reference is quite melancholic too, this one:

Theatre of Arcana

This is the cover I did for my boyfriend's novel :)

New desktop!

Recently I ended up surfing through NASA's pictures and I remembered how gorgeous space is.

Song of the day is Kari Rueslatten's "Sorrow to my Door", from the album "Other People's Stories".

2012 things to do.

The new year has begun, it's time to check what we're doing.
I'm not afraid of the crisis, I think everybody should take it as a chance to think about what our society has became. I think the one that really got the point is Serge Latouche, whose philosophy I dig and support. We don't need a lot of what we think we need. My mom said my ecologic laundry soap is shit because it doesn't smell of rose, that I have to use a specific soap for black clothes. Really? Are we still in the '50s? People has to understand commercials have convinced us we need a lot of stuff we don't really need. My clothes are clean and as black as before even if I use one single soap. Life is much less expensive when you buy only what you need, sometimes a little gift for yourself. My biggest expense right now are the piano lessons, and I'm glad to pay for something I like to do, especially when it's inspiring and it expands my knowledge. Music is wonderful and I think every child should be allowed to know it. I'd love to take german lessons, I like languages.

After Chrismas I went to visit Bern, Fribourg and Gruyéres, I was a happy girl inside the Giger museum!

My New Years Eve was spent in Munich, loved the beer, loved the sausages!

2012 has started off with quite interesting things, projects and pictures.

Let's start with my personal projects: The Dark Spark. It will be a magazine. I'm doing a comic for it, "Green Drapes", and I wrote a little thing, "At Dusk". The cover will be handmade by me, the pencilwork "A Pregnant Owlet".

"The Gospel according to All" is an experimental novel me and my boyfriend are developing, I would call it "multimedial". I'm trying to picture the first chapter in my head. 

I'm still working on Imago Vocis, yesterday I realized I need to put in some thrilling elements, like, mysteries and some complex situations that would force the reader to think, challenging.

Let's talk about discoveries now. I'm listening to lots of new music, trying to find something I like, something inspiring. But I always fall on Tori's live recordings. I'm loving this Iieee from Sessions at West 54, 1998, which is in my humble opinion her best live performance to date.

But I'm exploring classical music (Alkan, Bartok, Hamelin), heavy metal classics, folk, Kate Bush, Kevin Moore, Leila Arab, Hans Zimmer, Angelo Badalamenti, brought back The Cranberries, Abney Park, Adele, Dead can Dance, random unknown violin players, I'm really enjoying Nightwish's new Imaginaerum (something fresh after a disc of tiresome, stale and dull stuff), Seal, Deep Purple and Bette Midler. I'm diving in the endless world of old classics.

Just yesterday I discovered this polish photographer called Laura Makabresku. I'm enjoying her pictures so much, I find them truly inspiring. http://lauramakabresku.blogspot.com/